a little uncertainty
by lannistersdebt
Summary: "Seven years. Seven long, amazing, unbelievable years and his education was over." Graduation is here for Dirk Cresswell. Written for Round 5 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.


Seven years. Seven long, amazing, unbelievable years and his education was over. Perhaps not quite over, but close enough. After today, he could no longer call himself a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – instead, he would join the group of the elite school's alumni – and he could no longer count on the routines that he had come to love so much. His days of waking up early to walk along the perimeter of the Black Lake, going to breakfast in the Great Hall, going through classes and sitting in the library to do his homework were just…over. It was heartbreaking and exciting all at once, and he honestly couldn't figure out how to work his way through his own feelings.

"What's on your mind, mate?" Remus Lupin's voice was one most welcome. Friends and distractions were two things that Dirk was running low on today, and he would prefer to have more of both around. "For a graduate you look like you have entirely too much on your shoulders."

Dirk couldn't help but smile. Remus was always able to make him relax. "Soon to be graduate, Remus. The ceremony doesn't start for another four hours."

"Trivial matter at the moment." The alumni nodded his head toward the lake and began walking toward it, knowing that the action would be copied. It was common knowledge that the shore there, looking out over the water, was one of Dirk's favorite places. It was quiet, at least during the time of day that Dirk was there. Other times of the day, the sound of laughter abounded as people darted in and out of the cold water and hoped to catch a glimpse of any life form besides their own. Now, with graduation looming, most of the school's population was inside the castle, putting on their final touches and finishing up preparations. "I'm much more concerned over _you_. What's bothering you?"

The answer was complicated, and Dirk wasn't quite sure how to respond. To say that he was upset about graduation would be honest, but Remus would see through the answer. Most graduates felt like this, and it didn't weigh them down so much that it was noticeable. No, it was better to just give him a straight and honest answer.

"Everything." He sighed and looked out over the calm water. "I just… I don't know what's going to happen, Remus, and it bothers me. I'm going to have to try to get a job soon, but there's a war going on. I don't want to fight, but I don't want to just stand by and watch all of my friends get hurt or killed and then know that I did nothing to prevent it. And if I don't fight for either side, I know that I could still end up dead, because You-Know-Who doesn't have any sympathy for anyone, plus I'm a Muggleborn…and the Death Eaters are terrifying… and… It's just everything."

"That is…quite a lot." The young man sighed and shoved his hands further into his pockets. "But Dirk, there's always a chance that you won't end up dead."

"If Snape has anything to say about it, I probably will." He mumbled, as if he didn't want to be heard.

"I doubt it. He has a long list of people he wants dead, and I rather think you're lower than some of our friends are." Though the matter of death was hardly a funny one, he couldn't help but grin, and it was hard to suppress his chuckle. "James, especially."

There was truth to the statement, Dirk knew. The relationship between those two was anything but pleasant. Even without James' bullying, they would have hated one another, but that had made everything even worse – though it was definitely humorous. There had been one occasion, Dirk remembered, where the Marauders had lured the Slytherin into the Forbidden Forest. They didn't usually invite Dirk to join them on their quests after dark, but that night was a different story. They never told him what they hoped to do to Snape, or how far they were going to take him, and didn't get to finish their plan anyway. Half an hour into their fun, it had grown too cold to stay out without risk of frostbite and the galloping of the centaurs grew more thunderous and angry with every passing second.

"Do you think he'll be here today?"

"James? Probably. I think he asked if he could have the day off to come… Or said that he wanted to help with the security at the gate. He wouldn't miss an opportunity to visit Hogwarts."

Dirk shook his head. "No, not him. Snape."

"Oh." Remus shrugged. "I don't see why he would, unless he's on orders – and might I add that that is highly unlikely. They know better than to try an attack here."

The younger wizard nodded, but was still quite skeptical.

Remus turned to face him. "There's a quote that I think you need to hear, Dirk. Maybe it will make your day better, make you feel better about entering the real world."

He turned his head. "Yeah?"

"'No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.'" Lupin patted his shoulder. "I can't promise you that everything will be okay, not in the way that you want it to be. But if you start out with the mindset that it will end up poorly, you won't make it very far at all."

Slowly, he nodded. "Where's the quote from?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't remember. Ask Dumbledore."

It was a lie and Dirk knew it, but he nodded anyway. If Dumbledore could spread a quote like that, then he must hope that everything would be okay. And if Dumbledore thought that, then surely there was a great chance of it being true.

* * *

_**a/n:**_

This was written for Round 5 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.  
I write as Beater 1 for the Montrose Magpies.  
The overall round setting for us was Dirk Cresswell.  
My scene was graduation.  
My prompts were:  
\- 3 (quote); "No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." -Helen Keller  
\- 7 (word); frostbite  
\- 8 (word); galloping


End file.
